


it's not my fault (i'm a maniac)

by ZinniaRae



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Making Out, Not Canon Compliant, a wild Wally West appears, this wasn't supposed to have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8867851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZinniaRae/pseuds/ZinniaRae
Summary: Eight kisses.Eight different reasons.





	1. Because I Had a Boner

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> First fic in a while, so be nice.
> 
> Title's from Alone Together - Fall Out Boy

**I. Because I had a boner.**

A dry laugh left Jade’s lips as she _somehow_ caught Roy off guard -- _again_. She had pounced on him, her thighs straddling his waist. The eyes of his domino mask narrowed as he looked up at her and he was painfully aware of the subtle rising and falling of her chest. Actually, Roy was so caught up in that sight (was the cleavage really necessary for an assassin?) that he hardly noticed she had one of her sai’s pressed to his cheek, the blade cold and threatening to dig into his skin.

“I guess we all can’t have beauty _and_ brains,” Jade murmured and her voice sent a chill down his spine. There was something about the way she said it or maybe it was because Roy was now aware of her subtle movements, the way it felt like she was _crawling_ up his body as she laid down, pressing her chest against his.

His mouth tried to form a retort, something _good_ , something _witty_. Roy was good with those or at least he had been before. Now he was questioning if he was ever really good at anything but that question didn’t have long to process because while Roy was lost in his thoughts, Jade had dropped her ceramic mask onto the ground next to him and the sai remained pressed to his cheek.

“It’s okay though, because you are quite handsome.” She finished her sentence with a _purr_ , one that sent shivers down Roy’s spine and God, if this was death? He was almost okay with it. There was something about Cheshire that made him _weak_. She was deadly and gorgeous which was a bad combination when it was usually _him_ she was trying to kill. It didn’t matter though -- not right now. Because her purr, the way her body pressed against his, he could see down her top, see the tops of her smooth breasts. He _really_ needed to consider wearing a jockstrap in the field like everybody else because he was _hard_.

Worst of all though? Jade fucking knew it. He saw her pale pink lips turn into a smirk, saw the amusement flicker in her eyes. “Do you like it when I call you handsome?” She asked. She pressed the metal to his cheek, running it down but it didn’t break the skin. It was cold and hard and Roy tried not to be aroused by it. He wasn't a fucking freak but he felt like he was fucking going insane. Jade was wiggling under his skin. He realized that he could have gotten up at any point. His hands were free and Jade was far from heavy but he didn't _want_ to move. That was what made this so bad, he didn't want to break free of her.

Then Jade leaned down and pressed her lips to his and Roy _tried_ not to kiss her back because heroes didn’t kiss villains. Heroes weren’t weak for villains. But she tasted like lemon candy and Roy wanted more, wanted all of her. His tongue ran over her plush lips and Jade parted them for him. Roy took as much control as she'd allow, his tongue pushing into her mouth and running over the sharps of her teeth, brushing over the velvety feel of her cheeks and he was almost _certain_ he heard her sigh into the kiss. That sound alone was enough to make his pants tighten even more and his skin felt like it was on _fire_.

But just as soon as it happened, it ended. Jade was off of him in a flash, her sai tucked away and her mask back on. “I’ll see you around, handsome,” And then she was gone and Roy was left hoping she meant it.


	2. You were the only person around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still unbeta'd.

**II. Because you were the only person around.**

He was a fucking clone. A goddamn clone. He wasn’t even the  _real_ Roy Harper and that had completely wiggled it’s way under his skin, like it would any  _normal_ person. He could hardly sleep, could hardly eat. It was becoming an obsession and Ollie told him not to worry about it _but how could he not_ ? Everything was a lie. Was Oliver not upset over the fact his protege, his ward, was a fake? The real Roy Harper was out there and Oliver wasn’t _looking_ for him, at least not as hard as he was. Then again, Oliver didn’t worry about anything...did he? Roy shifted on the rooftop. He needed to get away, maybe this was a mission he needed to take care of by himself, maybe he didn’t need the team or Oliver or _anybody_.

As if on cue, he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps and he tensed up immediately. His fingers immediately grabbed at an arrow, nocking it at lightning speed before he even turned around. “Fuck off, Jade.” The words fell from his lips as he lowered his bow, placing the arrow back in his quiver.

“Rude.” She responded. Judging by the sound of her footsteps, she wasn’t taking his advice. Instead, Jade moved and seated herself on the rooftop text to him. She wasn’t in her gear, instead she was in a black shirt and leggings that hugged her body and left Roy focusing on her longer than he wanted to. “I thought Batman was the one who liked to brood on rooftops.” She commented, leaning back on her hands.

He was going to argue that he _wasn’t_ brooding but fuck it, he was. He had a reason to though. Why did everybody expect him to buck the fuck up and get over it? This wasn’t something you just _woke up_ and got over. His life was a lie, he wasn’t Roy Harper...he didn’t know _who_ he was. And for some reason...Roy began to spill that to Jade. He began to spill all those secrets and problems to _Cheshire_ and he didn’t know why. She worked with the League of Shadows and he was telling her _everything_.

At first, she didn’t respond. Roy was expecting a laugh, expecting her to call him an idiot. Instead, she sucked on her tongue and those dark eyes were focused on him. “So you want to find the real Roy Harper?” He didn’t expect that question because _somebody_   finally seemed to understand. He gave a simple nod before his eyes went back to look over the cityscape. Just like he didn’t expect her to not mock him, he didn’t expect her next statement. “I’ll help you.”

“What?” His response came quickly and full of confusion. She’d _help_ him? “Jade, I don’t have _time_ for bullshit.”  Everybody wanted to waste his time. Wanted him to _think_ about things and wanted him to just relax. How could he relax? How could _anybody_ relax?

“No bullshit.” Came her response coupled with a shrug. “I’ll help you, Harper. Take it or leave it.”

“Why?” The question fell from his lips and Roy’s blue eyes were focused on her now, fully studying her face. He was trying to read her, trying to figure out whether or not to trust her. He could read people but never Jade, she was impossible to get a good read on.

“Do I need a reason?” Roy’s cocked eyebrow and scrunched lips told her otherwise and she sighed. “Because I want to.”

“I’m not buying it, Jade. What are you really after?”

“I don’t want to see you die. This is going to be a hell of an adventure and you’re going to need people who can help you get on the _inside_ of things. I’m your girl. Good enough of an answer?”

“For now.” Roy sighed. He had a feeling he was going to regret letting Jade tag along or help or _whatever_ she was planning to do. At the same time though, she was the only person to offer to _actually_ help. Not _listen_ or give him a place to stay while he _thought_ over everything. Jade was willing to help. He half expected her to disappear because that was what Jade _did_ , she disappeared like the Cheshire Cat. She was still sitting silently by his side though, almost completely still.

His eyes drifted away from her before they were drawn back. Carefully reaching over, he cupped her cheek in his hand, noting the confusion in her eyes and that small twitch. She wanted to leave, but at the same time, she didn’t. Maybe reading Jade wasn’t so hard. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers. Unlike their last kiss, this wasn’t deep and hungry. It was softer, just a simple peck. He pulled away, the corner of his mouth turning upwards into the first hint of a smile in _days_. “Thanks Jade,”


	3. Because no one did

“You miss them,” She pointed out quietly, looking at her nails instead of him. “You’re constantly checking up on them. You miss them.”

 

He hadn’t realized she’d been paying  _ that _ much attention to what he was doing. He was beginning to realize that Jade paid more attention to him than he first thought. Hell, he hadn’t even realized he was checking up on his old team as much as he was. Maybe he was just completely oblivious. “I don’t miss them.” He grumbled, tossing his phone down on the bed. “I just...I know the memories  _ aren’t _ mine to have, but...I worry about them. It’s rough out there.” Her response was nothing more than a hum and Roy decided to push.

 

“Don’t you miss them? I mean, your mother and your sister? You’re telling me you don’t check up on them?” Silence. He hated it when she did this, when she pushed to get information out of him but then she’d shut down  _ completely _ . It wasn’t fair. He was trying to make...whatever this was...work and Jade just skated by without putting herself out there. “Oh. Right. Sorry, I forgot this is always a one-sided conversation.” Roy snapped.

 

There was more silence and it was enough to make him want to  _ scream _ because he hated it, hated not knowing what she was thinking, hated not being able to read her. He heard her shift on the bed, expecting her to storm out. Instead, he heard her voice. It was quiet, barely audible. “I worry about Artemis. I know she’s safe though. She can take care of herself.” She shrugged. “It’s not like I don’t love them. I do, I just couldn’t stand being around  _ him _ .”

 

“You have a really shitty way of showing you love her.” He realized just how stupid that line sounded as soon as it left his lips. Jade was opening up to him and he had to try and pick a fight, had to criticize her. Goddammit, Harper. 

 

Those dark eyes were on him, burning holes in his skin. “My mother was Huntress and my father was Sportsmaster. Do you think I was raised knowing what affection was?” She scoffed.

 

Pity. Roy immediately felt a shot of pity run through him. She hadn’t experienced affection, at least not  _ true _ affection. Not the type she should have known. He stood up, crossing over to her bed and sitting next to her. He reached out, brushing some of that wild black hair behind her ear as she looked up at him. “What in the hell are you doing, Harper?”

 

“Showing you affection.” He replied as nonchalantly as possible before his lips were pressed to hers. Jade was kissing him back almost immediately, her hand moving to his shoulder and pulling him in...at least for a second. But then she was  _ laughing _ . Not that sarcastic laugh she usually had or that amused snort he’d get, Jade was  _ laughing _ and Roy would have been insulted if he didn’t like the sound a little too much. “Something funny?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

 

“You are absolutely ridiculous.” Jade said, amusement flickering in her eyes and Roy suddenly felt like an  _ idiot. _ His cheeks were heating up, God, he was an idiot. But then he felt her nails on the back of his neck, pulling him back to her and letting their lips collide once again. Jade wasn’t soft and sweet, she kissed him hungrily with teeth and tongue and Roy accepted it. He was expecting her to pull away again to taunt him or just get bored, instead, she fell back onto the bed and pulled him on top of her, wrapping her legs around his waist. 

 

It was his turn to break the kiss and when he did, Roy looked thoroughly confused. She was smirking up at him, her hand moving from his neck to his bicep. “Thought you wanted to show me affection.” Her hips pushed up against his and Roy groaned. God, why did she get him this worked up so damned easily? 

 

“Thought I was ridiculous.” Roy retorted but he was taking the invitation, leaning down and nuzzling at her neck. She didn’t push him away and he took the opportunity, kissing every inch of skin available to his mouth. Jade  _ sighed _ , the same sigh he got when he kissed her the first time. 

  
“You are.” Jade responded, tilting her head to give him more room to kiss. “I like you though.”


	4. Because everyone did.

Roy wasn’t exactly sure how Jade talked him into it, but they were in some bar to ‘lighten their spirits’. Roy was pretty sure that was Jade just telling him she wanted a night off.

He clutched the glass of whiskey, his eyes making their way over to where Jade was across the bar. She had ditched his side almost as soon as they got inside, which was totally okay with him. He didn’t care. He didn’t know _what_ they were but they certainly weren’t _together_. She was free to drink and talk as she wished -- except she was smiling. It wasn’t often Jade smiled and there was a bitterness in Roy because he wasn’t the one who made her smile.

But yeah, he didn’t care.

She was drinking something purple. His best guess was a purple cosmo but that didn’t seem like Jade. She was talking to some guy next to her, some relatively attractive man who was probably a tourist just like they were and Jade was _smiling_ at him over the rim of her glass. Roy’s grip on his drink tightened before he brought it to his lips, downing the amber liquid that burnt his throat and his chest as it went down. “Another,”  He said, giving the glass a shove toward the bartender.

There were plenty of attractive women in the bar, plenty he could talk to -- but he couldn’t keep his attention off Jade. The guy was leaning in closer to her now, her hand was on his arm. Hadn’t it just been a few nights ago when those long nails of hers were biting into Roy’s bicep as she arched into his touch and...no. He didn’t care. Jade liked sex, that was it.

The bartender returned with his drink, pushing it toward him and Roy took it, tossing back more of the alcohol. He brought his attention to the bar itself, to the scratched oak wood. He’d rather look at anything than just stare at Jade while she flirted with that stupid stranger. Roy didn’t know who the man was but he hated him. Hated the fact he made Jade laugh, hated the fact that she decided to waste her time with _him_. That was it. He was going to go back to their hotel room. He downed the rest of his whiskey, tossing some money on the counter to cover his tab.

Pulling himself to his feet, Roy moved toward Jade and the stranger. He was just going to tell her he was heading back...but then the stranger leaned in, put his hand on the back of Jade’s head and pressed his lips to hers. Roy stopped dead in his tracks. He half expected Jade to snap, break the man’s arm or _something_ but she was kissing him back.

Maybe he cared.

Roy turned and stormed out of the bar, rummaging in the pocket of his hoodie for his cigarettes and lighter. If Ollie was here, he’d bitch at him for smoking, for ruining his body. But this wasn’t even _his_ body and Roy didn’t give a shit right now. He had no right to be angry. Jade didn’t belong to him, but she didn’t belong to that stranger either. Instead of going back to the hotel, he was leaning against the brick wall of the bar, inhaling smoke and trying to calm down.

“Bar not your scene?”

He hadn’t even noticed Jade appear by his side, she was good at that...always silent. He didn’t answer her, taking another drag and watching as the cherry got closer to his finger tips. He didn’t even look at her. Roy heard her sigh and expected her to walk away, but she didn’t. “What are you so pissed about?” Jade snapped before she moved, standing in front of him now instead of by his side. He had to look at her...or he could just childishly look toward the side. Jade had his attention though, blue eyes looking down at her.

“S’not pissed.” Roy mumbled, dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his boot. “Tired. I’m going back to the hotel.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Won’t your boyfriend miss you?” The retort left his lips before Roy could even think about it. He heard the sharp inhale from Jade before he felt those dark eyes burning into him. Even in the barely lit bar parking lot he could feel her gaze and it still managed to make him squirm.

“What the -- are you _serious_ Roy? You’re pissed because I kissed a guy in a _bar_?”

“I’m not pissed.”

“You’re lying. You’re a _shit_ liar!" A pause. "Oh my god, you’re _jealous_ .” And there was a smirk on her face as Jade came to realize that. The smirk was almost mocking and Roy wanted it to go away, wanted _her_ to go away -- as long as she didn’t go back to the stranger in the bar.

“So what?” He muttered, raking a hand through red locks. “You’re free to kiss whoever you’d like. It’s not like we’re a couple or anything. I don’t own you.”

“But you want to.”

Roy didn’t answer. He sucked on his tongue, tensed his jaw. He wanted to fade into the brick wall, hell, he’d take disappearing back to Star over having this conversation right now. If he stormed off, Jade would follow and they’d have this conversation one way or another. Fuck. His silence was probably just as telling as an answer would have been. He shook his head, his eyes darted to the side before they were back on Jade. “I want to be the only one kissing you.” He finally answered. The look on Jade’s face was a mixture of amusement and something else. Roy wasn’t sure _what_ exactly it was, but she was _still_ smirking. He wanted her to stop.

Reaching out, he grabbed her by her arms, turning and pinning her against the wall. If she wanted to, Jade could get away from him but she didn’t struggle. He leaned in, his lips crashing into hers. Roy wasn’t wasting any time being sweet or gentle or anything like he _usually_ was. He took a page from Jade’s book -- pure aggression. His teeth nipped at her bottom lip before his tongue ran over the surface to soothe where his teeth had just been. Their tongues pushed against each others and he could taste vodka on her tongue. One hand moved down, gripping her ass through her jeans and pulling her too him...and Jade _moaned_ into his mouth. Roy swallowed it down, holding back a groan of his own because _fucking hell_. She undid him so damn easily.

They pulled away, lips kiss-bruised and red, breathing heavy and a wicked grin _still_ on Jade’s face. “Okay.” She breathed. She knew him too well, knew he was about to ask ‘Okay, what?’ because she answered the question. “You can be the only one who kisses me.”


	5. "Love"

Roy had absolutely no idea what he was getting himself into or _why_ exactly he was getting himself into it. All he knew that strings had been pulled and now they were standing in a courthouse. Jade had grabbed some discounted dress -- and even Roy had to admit she looked gorgeous in the knee-length white dress. Had he ever seen Jade in white before? She insisted that he wore a suit, anything to make Jade happy. The papers were already signed and they were just waiting on the Chaplain to make this thing official. No time for second thoughts...but Roy was certain he wanted this. And Jade? He was _pretty_ sure she wanted it too. She was still hard to read.

 An older gentleman entered the room, wearing a cheap suit and clearing his throat. “Is it just the two of you today?” He asked, making his way over toward them.

 “Yes.” Jade’s voice sounded annoyed. Did she want other people there or did she just want to get this over with?

 “Alright then, have you written your own vows or…?”

 The couple exchanged glances before shaking their heads. “No,” Roy answered this time. He didn’t seem as annoyed as Jade. “We could if you want to, real quick, I mean.” He added, glancing back toward Jade who shook her head. Roy was silently thankful for that. He was terrible at expressing his feelings, but Jade was worse.

 “Alright. Let’s begin,” The Chaplain said, nodding toward them. Jade and Roy stepped forward, taking each other’s hands. Roy was nervous and he thought, at least for a second, Jade was too. The Chaplain took another glance at the paper with their names on it before beginning, “Roy and Jade, today you celebrate one of life’s greatest moments and give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, as you join together in the vows of marriage. Roy, do you take Jade to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

 Every second leading up to this moment, Roy thought there would be hesitation. “I do.” There wasn’t any.

 “Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her?”

 Again, no hesitation. “I do.”

 “Jade, do you take Roy to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Roy was almost sure this was the moment the rug got swept out from underneath his feet. Jade would laugh and walk away, all of this some sick, twisted joke in her mind.

 Instead, “I do.”

 “Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?”

 “I do.”

 Roy felt it then. He really did, _love_ . He was sure he loved Jade before that moment but...that just sealed it. She was jumping head first into his crazy. She knew he wasn’t the _real_ Roy Harper and loved him anyway. She had to.

 “And the rings,”

 Roy fumbled in his jacket pocket, grabbing the two plain silver wedding bands and passing his to Jade before taking the one meant for her in his trembling fingers. “I Roy, take thee, Jade, to be my wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. And I promise my love to you, with this ring, I thee wed.” His blue eyes had been focused on her dark ones and Roy was almost certain he was tearing up -- and he was almost certain Jade was too. He'd never seen her cry before. He carefully slipped the ring onto her fourth finger, his hands _still_ trembling.

 Her eyes focused on her ring for a second before she was taking his hand in her own, holding onto his wedding band with perfectly still hands. “I Jade, take thee, Roy, to be my husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. And I promise my love to you, with this ring, I thee wed.” She said softly, slipping the ring onto his finger. Her eyes met his and Jade’s lips turned upwards in a smile -- an honest to god smile.

 “Love should be the core of your marriage, love is the reason the two of you are here. But it will also take trust - to know in your hearts you want the best for each other. It will take dedication - to stay open to one another; to learn and grow together even when it is not always easy to do so. It will take faith, willing to go forward to tomorrow, never really knowing what tomorrow will bring. In addition, it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey, you both now pledge to share together. Roy and Jade, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows. I now declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

 Roy let go of her hands, closing the distance between them. His hands moved to her hips, pulling her flush against him as he leaned down, pressing their lips together. Her arms came around his neck as she kissed him back. It was their sweetest kiss. No tongues, no teeth. No hidden promises of sex. It was slow and soft and Roy was almost unsure this was Jade he was kissing. They finally pulled away and their eyes were back on each other. “I love you.” It was the first time he’d said it. They didn’t _need_ to say it, they showed each other everyday. At least Roy was certain they did. He expected one of Jade’s sarcastic quips like ‘that’s why we just got married’ or ‘shut up, Harper’.

 Instead, he got one of those honest to god smiles that made his heart speed up and he absolutely had to return it. He could die happy seeing her smile, it was when she was the most beautiful. Not that she wasn’t beautiful all the time, but her smile was so rare. He knew he was honored to see it.  “I love you too,” It was the first and the last time she ever said it.


	6. Have you been drinking?

Roy Harper was one hundred percent certain that the phrase ‘things could not get any worse’ was just something you said so the universe knew to fuck you over harder. He was back in Star City, back in his shitty fucking apartment... _ alone _ . His marriage with Jade had lasted for about six months until she did what she did best, she  _ disappeared _ . From what he’d heard, Cheshire returned to her life of crime after she ditched him somewhere in France, so Roy swallowed his pride and returned to Star. What else was he to do?

He still needed to find Speedy, but honestly, he couldn’t get his shit together. Star City wasn’t a fix all, not when everyone who ‘cared’ about him was in his ear, telling him how fucked up he was now. They tried to host a fucking intervention for crying out loud. His skills were rusty, he hadn’t shaved or showered in the past week. Roy  _ knew _ he was a mess but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Maybe there was. At this point, he just didn't _care_ enough to do something. Moving to the counter, Roy grabbed the half-empty bottle of whiskey, popping it open and taking a swig from it.

Alcohol had been his comfort over the past year and Roy  _ knew _ that was wrong, knew he should put his feelings into working out or journaling. Something _healthy_.  His bad habits only seemed to get worse over time, one drink turned into a bottle. He leaned against the counter, downing more of the bottle. It no longer burned on the way down, it didn’t even comfort him anymore. The only time Roy was  _ comforted _ was when he was passed out drunk, when he wasn’t feeling or thinking. Clutching the bottle, he stumbled back over to the ratty old couch, falling back on it and taking another swig.

A noise caught his attention -- at least his senses weren’t complete shit yet. He set the bottle on the floor, reaching for his bow. His hands were shaky, he couldn’t draw it back quickly enough. Then a familiar chuckle made him drop it completely and  _ maybe _ he shouldn’t have. “Cheshire?”

She stepped out of the darkness and Roy wanted to know just how long she’d been there. The familiar ceramic mask was back on her face and she shook her head. “If I was anyone else you’d be dead right now.” She said and Roy scoffed, watching as she removed the mask and tossed it onto his counter. “You look like shit.” Jade added. “This  _ place _ looks like shit.”

“What are you even doing here?” He snapped. “I haven’t seen you since you  _ left _ me.” Yeah, Roy was  _ bitter _ and he had every right to be. They signed papers, said vows. He never imagined he’d be the type of guy to take that shit seriously, but he was and Jade had broken him worse than he already was. “Did you really leave to return to your life of crime?” He asked, reaching for the bottle again. "I mean, it's not a real surprise." He took another gulp of the amber liquid, trying to ignore the judgement in those dark eyes of hers and the way she scoffed as she moved toward him. Like she could judge him. She had no right. She fucking lost that right when he woke up in some shitty hotel room and she was gone, no trace of her anywhere.

“It was a benefit,” said Jade. “The real reason I left you though? Roy, you were  _ obsessing _ over finding Speedy. There was no room for me or anybody else in your life.”

“You were supposed to help me! That was the whole reason we were in Europe, Jade!" 

“I tried!” Jade snapped back as she got on her knees on the couch in front of him. She was so close to him and Roy wanted to touch her, wanting to reach out and run his fingers through her hair, pull her in for a kiss. Yeah, he was angry. He was still _really_ fucking pissed but it was Jade. She always managed to get him to see through the veil of anger, at least when that anger was directed toward her.  “Roy, I left because my world no longer revolved around you. I had to take care of someone else.”

“Yeah,  _ yourself _ .” He scoffed, blue eyes darted away from her. That was all Jade was - selfish. She only cared about herself and he should have seen it coming a mile away. Why did he try? Why did he let himself get so tied up in her when he  _knew_ this was how it was going to end?

“It’s not that easy,” Jade muttered, reaching behind her. She turned a small carrier around and Roy’s eyes almost popped out of his head. In the carrier was a dark-haired baby with chubby cheeks and a button nose who was sleeping peacefully. “This is Lian Nguyen-Harper.” She said. “She’s your daughter.”

Roy was speechless as he stared at the child. He...he had a baby? With Jade? Maybe he should have questioned it a bit more but...but he _knew_ it from the moment he looked at her. She was  _his_. He should have been angrier at Jade for hiding it, angry that it took her so long to tell him. She hid his child from him. In that moment though, all Roy could think of was holding her. Reaching out, he carefully ran his hand down her cheek. “C-can I hold her?”

“Have you been drinking?”

Jade already knew the answer. She was asking it to  _ remind _ him that he was a fuck up, remind him that he couldn’t even hold his own daughter, his Lian. He was silent as he just focused his attention on the beautiful little baby Jade was cradling, who was sleeping peacefully as if she didn’t know how fucked up the world around her was, how much of a mess her parents were.

“Sleep it off, sober up. Wake up, shower, shave." Jade ordered, moving Lian’s carrier back to her back before standing up. “I’ve called in every favor I have, Roy. I think I’ve found Speedy and we’re going to go get him back. We’re ending this once and for all so you can be a father to _your_ daughter and a husband. Understood?” Roy knew better than to argue, the commanding tone in her voice told him everything; she was serious. He simply nodded. Jade leaned down, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Good. You can hold in the morning then."


	7. It hurts not to.

“Is this everything?” Roy asked, looking over the baby bag Jade had stuffed into his hands. He was rummaging through it. Diapers, wipes, a little cooler for breastmilk, her bottles, a pacifier, a bib, a change of clothes. “I already have clothes for her.” He pointed out. And he did. After finding the  _ real _ Roy Harper, he had been a little unsure of what to do with himself. His focus became Lian. He wanted to be a good father for her because out of everything in his life, she was what he was the most proud of. 

“She’s messy. It doesn’t hurt you to have an extra set.” Jade pointed out, a hand on her hip. “But yes, that’s everything.” 

“And you’ll be back Monday?”

“At the latest.”

This wasn’t the first time Jade was dropping Lian off with him so she could do a job. This was just the first time Dinah was busy and Roy was  _ petrified _ of having to do this on his own. What if he wasn’t good with her by himself? What if something went wrong? “Okay.” He said, putting the bag on the floor. Lian was in her car seat still, cooing away as she played with a stuffed octopus that Jade had gotten her. Evidently she loved sea creatures. 

A sigh left Jade as her hand moved to his bicep, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll be fine, Roy. You’re good with her. She loves you.”

Their relationship was rocky. They weren’t a couple anymore but they could work together for Lian. At the same time, Roy still felt drawn to Jade. He still wanted to be the only person who kissed her, the person who made her laugh. Maybe she felt the same way. She _had_ never asked for a divorce. “Yeah, I know.” He raked a hand through his red hair. It had been trimmed up, but he still preferred it long enough to pull back. He  _ thought _ Jade liked it but she never said. Not that it mattered, why would what Jade like matter? “Just...be careful. Okay?” 

“I always am.” Jade walked past him, bending down in front of Lian. She was cooing to the child, planting gentle kisses all over her face. Who ever guessed Cheshire would have such a strong maternal side? When she was done, she stood up and started to make her way to the door. “See ya Monday.” She said, giving him a hint of a smile before she was reaching for the doorknob. 

“Jade! Wait!” Roy’s voice surprised even him. What in the hell was he doing? There was just a feeling in his gut, an uncomfortableness with her walking out of his apartment. What if something went wrong? What if she died? What if she was imprisoned? He’d be left with Lian...and he’d never see her again. He couldn’t have that, just the thought made his stomach twist and his heart ache. The thought of losing Jade was physically painful and Roy was going to need to think long and hard over what that actually meant. 

Jade had turned around to look at him, eyebrows raised. “Yes?”

Roy crossed over to her, his hand moving to rest over hers. “Be careful.” He spoke the words softly, his tone warm and gentle. “Please.” He knew he already asked her to but this was different. This was more than just saying it because he should. He was saying it because he couldn’t risk anything happening to her. Leaning down, he pressed a feather-light kiss to her lips, pulling away before she could even kiss him back. Anything deeper and the archer couldn’t guarantee he’d let her walk out his front door. 

She seemed shocked for a moment before giving a slow nod. “I always am, red.” She said once more but even her voice changed. It was softer, like the one she used that one time she said she loved him. Taking one last look back at him and Lian, she was out the door and Roy just stared at where she once stood. That was, until he heard Lian cooing in her car seat and he was brought out of his thoughts. 

He unstrapped her, taking her into his arms before taking a seat on the couch. Roy studied her little face, watched as it started to scrunch up like she was going to cry. “Do you miss mama already, sweetheart?” He asked, rubbing her back. Of course she couldn’t answer but she sniffled a little and Roy took that as a yes. “Me too.” He said before he was holding her against his chest, his hand still gently rubbing her back. “I miss her too.”


	8. I'm so fucking bored

Who knew a party for a one year old could be so  _ boring _ ? After smashing chocolate cake into her face, Lian had knocked out for a nap. It left a bunch of adults sitting around. They were chatting about Artemis and Wally’s upcoming wedding, Dick was all excited about how things in Bludhaven were going. Things Roy  _ knew _ he should care about, but he just really didn’t. Jade had disappeared into the kitchen about ten minutes ago. Nobody seemed to notice, nobody except for him. Pushing himself out of the easy chair, he muttered something about grabbing a soda before disappearing to find her. He didn’t have to really  _ look _ , she was still in the kitchen, leaning in the corner with her hand clutched around the neck of a bottle of wine.

Roy didn’t have to ask. He knew she was uncomfortable here. She hadn’t made things right with the law, hadn’t stopped taking jobs. In all other cases, Jade wouldn’t put herself in a room full of heroes - -but it was for Lian. Every member of the team  _ loved _ Lian. And then there was Artemis, who Jade  _ wanted _ to be there for. She didn’t say any of those things but Roy  _ knew _ because he had finally figured out how to read her. “Starting to commit to the wine mom role?” He smirked.

She took a swig, scoffing in his direction. “Aren’t you supposed to be in there listening to  _ your _ friends yammer on and on and fucking  _ on _ ?”

“Your sister’s getting married.” He felt the need to point that out. He didn’t feel the need to point out that Jade was a bridesmaid in said wedding because she was already annoyed with the fact (“She’s going to pick out an ugly fucking dress and expect me to wear it! I know it!”).

“Can’t everybody just get married like we did?”

“You mean a courthouse wedding that I’m not even sure was completely legit because of everything?”

“It was legit.” Jade pointed out.

_ Was _ . The word still stung Roy. It was a failure. Another reminder that there had been a long period of time when he wasn’t good for anything. Sometimes he still questioned that. They hadn’t gotten a divorce, the paperwork was too messy. Instead, they kept the status of ‘separated’ and went about their lives. They split the custody for Lian, although Roy had her most of the time. Jade was always off working. “Yeah,” He muttered in agreement.

“Shouldn’t you be in there with  _ your _ friends?” She asked again, taking another drink from the bottle.

Roy shrugged a shoulder, one side of his mouth quirking upwards. “Got bored.” He admitted, taking a step closer to her. “ _ So _ fucking bored.” 

“Wine?” Jade held out the bottle toward him and Roy took it. He didn’t drink from it. He was trying to cut back, leave that habit in the past. Instead, he put in on the counter and he noticed her pout slightly. “I was drinking that, Harper.”

“Yeah, I know.” Was the response she got. Roy closed the distance between them until he was almost pinning Jade in the corner of the kitchen. His hand reached out, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “What do you say we take Lian and get out of here? Take her to the pool or something? A  _ real _ first birthday. I mean, she obviously got bored too. She’s asleep.” 

Jade laughed at that. That real laugh of hers that Roy fucking  _ loved _ . It was so rare but with Lian around...it happened much more often. Her arms came up, looping around his neck. “I think that sounds perfect, actually. She does love water.”

He nodded before he leaned in, pressing a kiss to her lips. It was soft and gentle, but of  _ course _ , Jade deepened it. She took control and Roy would always let her. Her teeth nipped at his bottom lip and he groaned, his hand moving to her waist to pull her closer. They were complicated and messy and most of the time, he didn’t know where they stood. Half the time Roy was pissed at her but times like these? The moments where things showed some semblance of normalcy between them? They made the other half of the time worth it. He broke the kiss, his forehead resting against hers. 

“Hey dude, I was just making sure you foun -  _ DUDE! _ Lian just turned one! Are you seriously trying to get a start on making another one  _ in my kitchen _ ! Artemis, tell your sister there’s no babymaking in our kitchen!” 

Roy rolled his eyes, flicking Wally off before his attention was back on Jade. “You know, he has a point. Lian could use a sibling.”

Jade’s dark eyes went slightly wide before she scoffed, that calm demeanor falling over her once more. “In your dreams, Harper. In your dreams.” She slipped away from him, going to collect Lian and leaving Roy to just watch after her with a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to have a happy ending but I couldn't help myself -shrug-


End file.
